It’s nice to know my geek karma seeks out connections, consciously or subconsciously.
On Friday, I was in Toronto, and managed to pick up a copy of Lance Parkin’s magnificent — and staggeringly THOROUGH — book A HISTORY: An Unauthorized History of the Doctor Who Universe.
Aside from being an astonishing and ambitious work of fan-scholarship, it brought a huge smile to my face, as one particular entry caught my eye…
As some of you may know, Doctor Who recently came off a one-week break, to allow the broadcast of the Eurovision song contest. I won’t go into too much detail — if you’re interested in my (mind-shredding) thoughts, check out last year’s entry. Suffice to say, it’s one of the most entertaining shlock-fests you could possibly imagine, and American Idol is positively tame in comparison.
As it happens, Doctor Who has its own take on the Eurovision debacle: the hilarious audio-story Bang-Bang-A-Boom, featuring the 7th Doctor and Mel. By chance, I managed to find the entry for that story in A History, and (much to my amusement), the top 3 song titles were finally revealed to me.
Note to future Eurovision programers: if you feature songs with these titles, I guarantee you endless sky-high ratings in the years to come:
(1) “MY LOVE IS AS LIMITLESS AS A BLACK HOLE & I’M PULLING YOU OVER THE EVENT HORIZON” sung by Angvia of the Hearth of Celsitor
(2) “DON’T PUSH YOUR TENTACLE TOO FAR” sung by the Architects of Algol
(3) “CLONE LOVE” sung by Maaga29 of Drahva (look up Galaxy Four to understand the joke)
I would actually PAY to see this fictional concert! :D
But now that I’ve shared this, I’ve had a terrible thought: there WILL be insane individuals out there, ready to write their own versions of these songs and inflict them on the unsuspecting European viewing public.
Then again…have you SEEN what usually transpires on Eurovision? There will always be something worse. ;-)
